this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
