these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Randomize
