Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
