Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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