Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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