I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
