like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
