Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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