I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
