sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
