cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
