i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
