can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
