She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
