We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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