Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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