After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
