I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
