they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
