I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
