Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
