Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
