I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize