i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have aggressive nipples.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
