I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
