And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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