I think i peed on brittanys purse
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
