Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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