I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize