how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize