Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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