Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
