i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
