Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
