i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
