from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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