I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
