i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
pray to the hookup gods
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
