we're blogging at a bar
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
