Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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