$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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