My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
