wrigley field is MILF paradise
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
