i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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