Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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