Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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