i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
