1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize