No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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