maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
