i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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