I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
