Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
