dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
