We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
