I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
