My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
