if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize