the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
