so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
