I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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