there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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