No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
