Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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