we made out on top of his cat.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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