the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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