East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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