I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
