4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
