Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
