As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
