Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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