he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize