i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
